Fucking Annoying Questions (FAQs)


Do you do production work?

I hate production work with every fibre of my being. It's mind-numbing and makes me want to punch babies.

Do you use CNC?

That would go against the whole point of my art being handcrafted and unique, don't you think? The answer is no.

Do you accept rushed orders?

Depends on how rushed and what you want me to make. An additional fee of 20% will be added for the stress, tears, and lack of sleep... I'm not kidding.

Why is your art so expensive?

With the exception of my flags, almost all of the work I make starts from scratch. I have to draw up a draft, make a template, transfer it to metal, cut the metal, grind the metal, and in most cases, paint the metal. Did you think it was magic or some shit? It's a laborious fucking process, Brenda.

Do you ever participate in art shows?

When I feel like they're worth my time, but otherwise, no.

Do you offer discounts?

10% for all active duty, veterans, first responders. HOLLLAAAAAAA!

What type of payments do you accept?

All major credit cards. Paypal, Venmo, Square, Cash. NO personal checks, bartering, or selling of souls accepted.

Additional Shit You Should Know


Turnout Rate

If you didn't already have an idea, making shit without the use of an automated machine takes longer and dare I say it, more skill. Expect to receive your order within 2 weeks of ordering to allow for production time. I will let you know if the wait will be longer than expected due to unforeseen circumstances or high volume orders.

Unforeseen Events

My work is highly determined by the weather. Please understand that if there is inclement weather for days at a time, I am unable to work outside because well, electrical equipment plus moisture just doesn't work well together and living in Florida is like playing Russian Roulette when it comes to work. It sucks and despite my sass, I am VERY grateful for your patience!